. . . werewolves?

[anthimeria]

I'm torn.  I've been torn for months.

Writing the werewolf book isn't fun.

I can see the finished product in my head, and it's a good book--it's fills a niche (a small niche, but still) that I don't think any other urban/modern fantasy book fills, it tells a good story, by the end of the book I think I'll be happy with the characters and the way they've grown and the possibility of setting a series in this universe, around a core cast with my alpha werewolf Dani as the lead.

But--but I feel like I'm writing in circles, and it's boring, and the people who aren't put off by Act One's length will get put off by my main character's biases, or the surface picture we get of the more interesting characters, or the fact that it's a werewolf book without bloody murder or action sequences or romance or a gun-wielding heroine facing down Evil.

My heroine wields math and mediocre people skills, and there isn't any big-E Evil--just the terrible things people do to each other, and how a bunch of messed-up werewolves who've been essentially trashed by their own society deal with it.  My cast is poor and of color and queer and nonneurotypical and disabled and they don't have any idea how to deal with themselves, let alone each other.

Objectively, I don't want to give up on this book.  Subjectively, it's a really, really hard book to write, and my life that isn't writing is exhausting right now.  The temptation to throw in the towel is strong.

There have been books I never started because I knew I wasn't ready for them yet.  For the first time, with this book, I thought maybe I was--I still think I am.  I think if the job that pays the bills wasn't crazy like a crazy thing right now, I'd be much farther along, and I'd've sped past the doubt and skipped the tempation to give up and had a finished rough, and once that happened editing it would be inevitable.

I haven't given up on it yet, but y'all--I haven't written since July.  I haven't worked on Skywatch since the beginning of June.  It's mid-September.

So--opinions?  Thoughts?  En/discouragement?

Or ignore this post, since it's a little self-indulgent.  Whatever floats your boat.
 

Comments

[elenagleason.com]

I hate to say it, but if you are bored writing it, my guess is that people will be bored reading it as well. Having that much trouble getting the story out is probably a sign that the story itself is flawed. I doubt it's unfixably flawed (it can't be unfixably flawed, because the world needs more werewolf novels, so that I can read them), but I think you might need to reexamine the big picture and figure out what would make you as a reader excited to keep turning pages. And then that will probably (hopefully!) get you excited to write the new, fun bits down.

Also: If writing isn't fun for you right now, STOP. You are busy enough already without another burden piled on. Maybe try some fun, low-pressure writing in the meantime--fanfic or a short story or something. :)

[anthimeria]

You're right about the bored writing=bored reading, which is one of the reasons I've been so growly about this book.

I've been trying low-pressure writing (I agree, it would be good for me right now, because a Lauren who isn't writing is a bitch), but for some reason it hasn't been working. I keep desultorily picking at stuff without writing anything. It's depressing all on its own.

And then I get cranky 'cause I'm not writing. And then I start staring at Sanctuary again. It's a vicious cycle.

*Sigh* Maybe some of the pressure will go away if I officially give up on the werewolf book, at least for now.

[elenagleason.com]

If I were you, I think I would give up on Sanctuary for now. If your problem is just timing, or that it's a challenging one to write, then your mind will probably return to the story again and again, and soon enough you'll be excited to work on it some more. And if you never get excited about it again, then it's probably not a good book to force yourself through.

It sucks that writing is being hard for you right now. Everyone goes through those periods though--you'll be through it soon enough. :)

P.S. Did you see Seanan McGuire's brief call for trans superheroes in her post about the Genreville post you posted (...too many "posts" in that sentence)? The relevant passage, in case you missed it:
I want books that are sold as being normal, everyday, perfectly ordinary books, that just happen to have gay people in them, not the next! Big! QUEER ADVENTUUUUUUUUURE! I have plenty of queer adventures. What I want is gay men doing laundry, lesbians chasing werewolves, and transgender superheroes fighting to save Metro City. What I want is books where the story matters more than the sexual orientation of the characters it contains.
I read that and was all, "adfklkj Lauren has one of those books! :D"

[anthimeria]

I read Seanan McGuire's blog, erm, possibly more than is healthy? I never did go through forced detox like I meant to . . .

But, yes. I read that and went MINE! THAT'S MY STORY!

I mean, I'd love to read another novel with a trans superhero, but dammit, I wanna do it first!

[anthimeria]

And (I know, I already replied once, but my brain!) I think part of the problem is that I've never given up 20k words into a novel before. I've sped through rought drafts and looked back and decided they weren't good enough to justify editing, and I've written openings that never continued, but this is the first time I've applied my worked-so-far novel writing process (full research and outlining before ever starting the rough) and then hit a wall.

The unicorn book and Skywatch both worked really well and really easily, written this way. I guess the third time wasn't charmed.

Plus, the only other novel projects "on my plate" are Skywatch (editing is BEYOND me ATM) and Moxie (ditto complicated worldbuilding, character building, and research). Dammit, writing the rough is supposed to be the easy part.

[(Anonymous)]

It sounds like you're looking for an excuse to stop working on the werewolf book. Doubt is certainly part of writing and we should always try to push past it, but I don't think your problem is entirely with this book, I think it has something to do with your new work schedule. I could be wrong, but from your last comment it looks like writing in general frustrates you. My advice would be to look at your lifestyle and see what changed. Try to figure out what's frustrating you and adapt the old writing rituals to fit the new schedule. Also, it might just be that the werewolf story isn't as relevant to you as when you started writing it. I've had this happen a number of times, where I started off with a good premise, but then along the way the characters/situations lost my interest. I guess there were just things I needed to say and I couldn't say them with those stories.

But if this is just a typical rut, try to think back to what sparked your interest in the first place. Was it a particular character? The setting? The tone? Whatever it was, write/work on a scene that includes it. If your interest isn't restored, then maybe it is time to move on.

-RC

[anthimeria]

This is definitely what's been holding me back from giving up on the werewolf book, even though working on it doesn't appeal. I feel like external pressures, combined with the fact that this IS a challenging book, have conspired to produce this reaction. And I deeply don't like the idea of giving in to pressure. I prefer to rise to the challenge.

Yet there's also an element of doubt because as enthusiastic as I am about this book and the series I'd like to write, I feel like I'm more enthusiastic about the idea of the book than the execution. When I tried to answer what sparked my interest, all I got were vague "and I'd kinda like to read a story like this some day" thoughts. My main character's never been strong, the setting is practical and interesting but not unique . . . in fact, "practical but not unique" describes everything except the characters, who are all sort of deliberately impractical.

I still don't know, but since there might be a light way ahead at the end of my crazy work schedule tunnel, I might just compromise and table the book until then.