. . . werewolves?

[anthimeria]

I'm torn.  I've been torn for months.

Writing the werewolf book isn't fun.

I can see the finished product in my head, and it's a good book--it's fills a niche (a small niche, but still) that I don't think any other urban/modern fantasy book fills, it tells a good story, by the end of the book I think I'll be happy with the characters and the way they've grown and the possibility of setting a series in this universe, around a core cast with my alpha werewolf Dani as the lead.

But--but I feel like I'm writing in circles, and it's boring, and the people who aren't put off by Act One's length will get put off by my main character's biases, or the surface picture we get of the more interesting characters, or the fact that it's a werewolf book without bloody murder or action sequences or romance or a gun-wielding heroine facing down Evil.

My heroine wields math and mediocre people skills, and there isn't any big-E Evil--just the terrible things people do to each other, and how a bunch of messed-up werewolves who've been essentially trashed by their own society deal with it.  My cast is poor and of color and queer and nonneurotypical and disabled and they don't have any idea how to deal with themselves, let alone each other.

Objectively, I don't want to give up on this book.  Subjectively, it's a really, really hard book to write, and my life that isn't writing is exhausting right now.  The temptation to throw in the towel is strong.

There have been books I never started because I knew I wasn't ready for them yet.  For the first time, with this book, I thought maybe I was--I still think I am.  I think if the job that pays the bills wasn't crazy like a crazy thing right now, I'd be much farther along, and I'd've sped past the doubt and skipped the tempation to give up and had a finished rough, and once that happened editing it would be inevitable.

I haven't given up on it yet, but y'all--I haven't written since July.  I haven't worked on Skywatch since the beginning of June.  It's mid-September.

So--opinions?  Thoughts?  En/discouragement?

Or ignore this post, since it's a little self-indulgent.  Whatever floats your boat.
 

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

It sounds like you're looking for an excuse to stop working on the werewolf book. Doubt is certainly part of writing and we should always try to push past it, but I don't think your problem is entirely with this book, I think it has something to do with your new work schedule. I could be wrong, but from your last comment it looks like writing in general frustrates you. My advice would be to look at your lifestyle and see what changed. Try to figure out what's frustrating you and adapt the old writing rituals to fit the new schedule. Also, it might just be that the werewolf story isn't as relevant to you as when you started writing it. I've had this happen a number of times, where I started off with a good premise, but then along the way the characters/situations lost my interest. I guess there were just things I needed to say and I couldn't say them with those stories.

But if this is just a typical rut, try to think back to what sparked your interest in the first place. Was it a particular character? The setting? The tone? Whatever it was, write/work on a scene that includes it. If your interest isn't restored, then maybe it is time to move on.

-RC

[anthimeria]

This is definitely what's been holding me back from giving up on the werewolf book, even though working on it doesn't appeal. I feel like external pressures, combined with the fact that this IS a challenging book, have conspired to produce this reaction. And I deeply don't like the idea of giving in to pressure. I prefer to rise to the challenge.

Yet there's also an element of doubt because as enthusiastic as I am about this book and the series I'd like to write, I feel like I'm more enthusiastic about the idea of the book than the execution. When I tried to answer what sparked my interest, all I got were vague "and I'd kinda like to read a story like this some day" thoughts. My main character's never been strong, the setting is practical and interesting but not unique . . . in fact, "practical but not unique" describes everything except the characters, who are all sort of deliberately impractical.

I still don't know, but since there might be a light way ahead at the end of my crazy work schedule tunnel, I might just compromise and table the book until then.