. . . werewolves?

[anthimeria]

I'm torn.  I've been torn for months.

Writing the werewolf book isn't fun.

I can see the finished product in my head, and it's a good book--it's fills a niche (a small niche, but still) that I don't think any other urban/modern fantasy book fills, it tells a good story, by the end of the book I think I'll be happy with the characters and the way they've grown and the possibility of setting a series in this universe, around a core cast with my alpha werewolf Dani as the lead.

But--but I feel like I'm writing in circles, and it's boring, and the people who aren't put off by Act One's length will get put off by my main character's biases, or the surface picture we get of the more interesting characters, or the fact that it's a werewolf book without bloody murder or action sequences or romance or a gun-wielding heroine facing down Evil.

My heroine wields math and mediocre people skills, and there isn't any big-E Evil--just the terrible things people do to each other, and how a bunch of messed-up werewolves who've been essentially trashed by their own society deal with it.  My cast is poor and of color and queer and nonneurotypical and disabled and they don't have any idea how to deal with themselves, let alone each other.

Objectively, I don't want to give up on this book.  Subjectively, it's a really, really hard book to write, and my life that isn't writing is exhausting right now.  The temptation to throw in the towel is strong.

There have been books I never started because I knew I wasn't ready for them yet.  For the first time, with this book, I thought maybe I was--I still think I am.  I think if the job that pays the bills wasn't crazy like a crazy thing right now, I'd be much farther along, and I'd've sped past the doubt and skipped the tempation to give up and had a finished rough, and once that happened editing it would be inevitable.

I haven't given up on it yet, but y'all--I haven't written since July.  I haven't worked on Skywatch since the beginning of June.  It's mid-September.

So--opinions?  Thoughts?  En/discouragement?

Or ignore this post, since it's a little self-indulgent.  Whatever floats your boat.
 

Comments

[elenagleason.com]

If I were you, I think I would give up on Sanctuary for now. If your problem is just timing, or that it's a challenging one to write, then your mind will probably return to the story again and again, and soon enough you'll be excited to work on it some more. And if you never get excited about it again, then it's probably not a good book to force yourself through.

It sucks that writing is being hard for you right now. Everyone goes through those periods though--you'll be through it soon enough. :)

P.S. Did you see Seanan McGuire's brief call for trans superheroes in her post about the Genreville post you posted (...too many "posts" in that sentence)? The relevant passage, in case you missed it:
I want books that are sold as being normal, everyday, perfectly ordinary books, that just happen to have gay people in them, not the next! Big! QUEER ADVENTUUUUUUUUURE! I have plenty of queer adventures. What I want is gay men doing laundry, lesbians chasing werewolves, and transgender superheroes fighting to save Metro City. What I want is books where the story matters more than the sexual orientation of the characters it contains.
I read that and was all, "adfklkj Lauren has one of those books! :D"

[anthimeria]

I read Seanan McGuire's blog, erm, possibly more than is healthy? I never did go through forced detox like I meant to . . .

But, yes. I read that and went MINE! THAT'S MY STORY!

I mean, I'd love to read another novel with a trans superhero, but dammit, I wanna do it first!