. . . werewolves?

[anthimeria]

I'm torn.  I've been torn for months.

Writing the werewolf book isn't fun.

I can see the finished product in my head, and it's a good book--it's fills a niche (a small niche, but still) that I don't think any other urban/modern fantasy book fills, it tells a good story, by the end of the book I think I'll be happy with the characters and the way they've grown and the possibility of setting a series in this universe, around a core cast with my alpha werewolf Dani as the lead.

But--but I feel like I'm writing in circles, and it's boring, and the people who aren't put off by Act One's length will get put off by my main character's biases, or the surface picture we get of the more interesting characters, or the fact that it's a werewolf book without bloody murder or action sequences or romance or a gun-wielding heroine facing down Evil.

My heroine wields math and mediocre people skills, and there isn't any big-E Evil--just the terrible things people do to each other, and how a bunch of messed-up werewolves who've been essentially trashed by their own society deal with it.  My cast is poor and of color and queer and nonneurotypical and disabled and they don't have any idea how to deal with themselves, let alone each other.

Objectively, I don't want to give up on this book.  Subjectively, it's a really, really hard book to write, and my life that isn't writing is exhausting right now.  The temptation to throw in the towel is strong.

There have been books I never started because I knew I wasn't ready for them yet.  For the first time, with this book, I thought maybe I was--I still think I am.  I think if the job that pays the bills wasn't crazy like a crazy thing right now, I'd be much farther along, and I'd've sped past the doubt and skipped the tempation to give up and had a finished rough, and once that happened editing it would be inevitable.

I haven't given up on it yet, but y'all--I haven't written since July.  I haven't worked on Skywatch since the beginning of June.  It's mid-September.

So--opinions?  Thoughts?  En/discouragement?

Or ignore this post, since it's a little self-indulgent.  Whatever floats your boat.
 

Comments

[anthimeria]

And (I know, I already replied once, but my brain!) I think part of the problem is that I've never given up 20k words into a novel before. I've sped through rought drafts and looked back and decided they weren't good enough to justify editing, and I've written openings that never continued, but this is the first time I've applied my worked-so-far novel writing process (full research and outlining before ever starting the rough) and then hit a wall.

The unicorn book and Skywatch both worked really well and really easily, written this way. I guess the third time wasn't charmed.

Plus, the only other novel projects "on my plate" are Skywatch (editing is BEYOND me ATM) and Moxie (ditto complicated worldbuilding, character building, and research). Dammit, writing the rough is supposed to be the easy part.